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My Open Letter to the South Asian Neuro Divergent Community

October 30, 2024

August 2022

To my awesome South Asian Community.

Hi! I am Hannah and I am 36 years old and I am a Muslim, South Asian Cis Gendered, Woman with ADHD. My parents were both in East Africa and came here in their teenage years to rebuild their lives like many of yours.

I wanted to write you this letter because if like me growing up neurodiversity wasn’t something that was ever spoken about in our households and it probably still isn’t with the older generations. In our culture we have some really beautiful and amazing traditions but there are some that we need to change and break some generational barriers and cultures that don’t serve people that are neurodivergent.

We need to create a space where not only is neurodivergence talked about but it is recognised and spoken about. We have a culture where children should not misbehave and have expectations to grow up to have certain jobs, we all joke about our parents wanting us to grow up to be doctors, dentists and lawyers and if you aren’t then you have failed.

Yesterday I officially got my ADHD diagnosis and I spent a lot of time wondering what my life would have been if I had the support I needed but also what would have happened if I didn’t have the cultural expectations on me. Sensory overload means I hate hugging people (I have got better at it but it takes a lot for me) but I remember growing up with it as a cultural expectation. I also spoke to my mother about how I saw traits in her and how it could be hereditary, and she refused to accept it showing how much of a taboo it still is. My parents are not bad people, but I went through my diagnosis on my own and they still don’t understand what ADHD is and I don’t think they ever really will.

As a South Asian Neurodivergent person there is nothing wrong with you, nothing about you makes you less valuable and my journey of self acceptance starts today with this letter.

We are not “too much”

We are not naughty, or too much or we don’t need to be quiet. One of the biggest issues in our community is the worry of what others might say. I want you to know that you are not too much, your neurodivergent traits do not make you “too much” or rude or misbehaved.

Knowing that you would rather not be in a room with unfamiliar people or relatives you barely know because of sensory overload doesn’t make you unsociable or a bad person.

You matter and your feelings are valid.

You are amazing and every emotion you feel is valid, its ok not to fit. Your triggers and sensory overload are not an inconvenience they are important, and they need to be supported.

There is no shame telling people you are neurodiverse and getting the support you need and not being in places that you are not comfortable in. South Asian culture often tells us to keep our head down and just crack on, but we don’t have to do that anymore.

Its ok to be more than just one thing.

We can love all cultures; I know I do but embrace all our intersectionality too in a way that allows us to be unapologetically us and pave the way for everyone else. You deserve to be validated and respected and have your boundaries respected too.

Our culture is beautiful but so is our neurodivergence so lets be both because both are valid. We need to bring the conversation to the forefront of our culture and change the narrative so that it stops being a taboo.

Let’s stop living for everyone else under these expectations that are indescribably painful, let’s try our best to take of the mask and support each other, those who are neurotypical it’s your time to step up and show allyship and support to destigmatise Neurodiversity in our communities so our community can see our greatness.

We never know who we will inspire just be being us.

Hannah